Mad As Hell - Part 3 - Uno, Dos, Tres
by Lancer1968
Summary: Someone's Going Through Hell!


Mad As Hell - Part 3

Uno, Dos, Tres

Summary: Someone's Going Through Hell!

Usual Disclaimers Apply

If You're Going Through Hell (Before the Devil Even Knows) by Dave Berg

Well you know those times  
When you feel like there's a sign there on your back  
Says I don't mind if ya kick me  
Seems like everybody has  
Things go from bad to worse  
You'd think they can't get worse than that  
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow  
And you don't know where you are  
Use the needle of your compass  
To sew up your broken heart  
Ask directions from a genie  
In a bottle of Jim Beam  
And she lies to you  
That's when you learn the truth

If you're going through Hell  
Keep on going, don't slow down  
If you're scared, don't show it  
You might get out  
Before the devil even knows you're there

Well I been deep down in that darkness  
I been down to my last match  
Felt a hundred different demons  
Breathing fire down my back  
And I knew that if I stumbled  
I'd fall… 

# # #

"JOHNNY!

STAY WHERE YOU ARE!

YOU, YOUNG MAN HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!

HERE! NOW! YOU TOO, SCOTT!

DON'T GO OUT THAT DOOR!"

Downstairs in the great room, Murdoch was home and in a colossal pucker, as his deafening baritone imposing voice barked orders as he saw his two sons, making tracks for the front door. The brothers stopped mid-stride, foiled in their attempt to skedaddle after their father's early return home from business in Modesto.

Entering the adobe hacienda, Murdoch had sniffed the air, noticing something most putrid; he investigated the source only to discover his ward in the most unflattering environment imaginable. Calling for Ciprano to fetch Maria from her niece's, Bianca, where Maria had delivered Bianca's third baby, a bouncing, dark-haired boy, named Fernando. This situation required a woman's touch to restored order to the turmoil Murdoch viewed, standing in the doorway, crinkling his nose as the reek assaulted his nostrils. He had gleamed from the prone girl that his son Johnny was the reason for her state as she warbled, "All Johnny's fault..."

"I cannot believe what you did to Teresa! John, I expect you to clean up that mess in Teresa's room now that Maria will soon be here to properly care for her. That means you will wash all her bedding, take that offending mattress, curtains and rug outside and burn them! They are ruin! Then you will scrub the floor and apply a fresh coat of paint to the walls to get rid of that stench. You will be replacing that mattress, those curtains and that rug out of your wages.

AS FOR YOU, SCOTT, WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU? I recall leaving you in charge of your delinquent brother and this ranch." demanded an irate, red-faced Murdoch dressing down his two sons who stood perfectly still in the middle of the great room facing their father.

"John, you are not to leave this house! As a matter of fact, young man, you're not going anywhere, for the next month! No fishing, no hunting, no town for drinking or card playing and whatever else you do! And do not tell me, I don't want to know how many hours you and your brother have spent upstairs at Blackjack's with your so-called girlfriends! All things of a pleasurable nature are off limits to you, young man! And I haven't made up my mind yet about you, Scott so do not think you're not culpable in this matter, as well."

"But sir…" started Scott. He stopped speaking as his father glared at him.

Johnny now slouched with his arms crossed protectively over his chest; head down while Scott stood solider straight, eyes forward. Murdoch paced and roared like a caged lion in a circus wagon, ready to attack at the first opportunity before he relented, "Alright, Scott, do you want to fill me in on what happened during my absence?"

Johnny lifted his head, "But Murdoch can't I 'splain before ya get even redder in your face? Ya blowin' off stream like a chuggin' locomotive ready ta burst from overheatin'! Can't ya calm down and not be in such a noisy pucker?"

"EXPLAIN?" bellowed Murdoch.

Murdoch noticed that Johnny dropped his head again, soften his tone, "Explain what, John? That the minute I'm away on Lancer business, you got my ward drunk as a skunk? Oh, I've got a pretty good idea of what goes on when I'm not here supervising you. But never would I have thought that you, Scott, would allow your brother to pull something this mean-spirited, this heartless, and this cruel to a young innocent girl like Teresa."

"Murdoch, let me 'splain," Johnny said quietly. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he and Scott faced their prosecutor, their judge, their jury and Madre de Dios the way Murdoch was going on maybe their...well at least his...executioner.

"What could you possibly clarify to me, John? Your behavior was despicable! Deplorable! Horrible! Degrading! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED YOUR SISTER!"

"Whoa, hold it right there. That's just it, Murdoch, Teresa ain't my sister or Scott's! She ain't that innocent either! She didn't have enough ta kill her; only put her out of my misery for a couple of days. I'm tryin' ta tell ya if ya let me."

Murdoch gave Johnny his most fierce stare down that he could muster before realizing that he hadn't give this miscreant an opportunity to utter his side of the story. His shoulders relaxed a tiny bit as he glared down at his dark-haired son, whose own temper was threatening to boil over but somehow Johnny managed to hold it in check. Murdoch noticed the look that Scott had given his brother, supportive and encouraging to remain calm. "Scott, ever the peacekeeper," thought Murdoch.

"By all means then, John, you have the floor, proceed. Try to enlighten me why I shouldn't pound sense into that thick skull of yours."

"'KAY THEN!" he finally exploded then visibility took a moment to collect this thoughts after he noticed Scott's slightly raised eyebrow and shake of his head.

"Is it my turn ta talk now, ol' man?!" Johnny's blue eyes blazed heat in the direction of the still pacing older man, who stopped and turned to face his son.

"Murdoch, ya know how Teresa's always followin' us around, bargin' in, tryin' ta spy on us? Well, this time as soon as ya were gone, she's became even a bigger burr under my saddle, tailin' me everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I go ta the barn ta saddle Barranca, there she comes, bringin' me treats. I head off ta work on the fence line and she's like some vulture spyin' on me from behind bushes, just watchin' and waitin' for something. Hell, I didn't even feel safe takin' off my shirt ta work in the hot sun!

But even worst yet, she started bringin' me lunch so she can ta touch my hand and brush up against me, breathin' in my face. Then she started gigglin' and makin' strange smackin' noises like she's gonna gobble me up if I gave her half a chance. Madre de Dios!

With ya not here, she started wearin' those skin tight pants again, wigglin' and shakin' her butt at me, unbuttonin' the top two buttons on her shirts ta show-off her chest. I gave her money ta go buy herself a new dress and get out of those pants but no she wouldn't do it. She's actin' like a heifer in heat ready ta pounce my bones.

Hell, if that ain't bad enough it got ta where I can't go for a swim, or a bath or now ever ta the outhouse without trippin' over that gigantic pain in my ass. She's been acting even crazier than that around me. A few days ago, I saw her peerin' through the keyhole in my room when I dropped my beads and swooped 'em up, she skedaddled away before I could open the door. Then she started roamin' the halls at night, paradin' right outside my door. I'd see the candle light as she walked up and down, couple times she even tried turnin' the door handle, but I'd put my chair under it ta keep her out of my room.

She kept gettin' on my nerves, makin' my skin crawl, so I made a little wager with her...that's all. I figured it would teach her a lesson, get her ta leave me alone until ya got back and could figure out what the hell is wrong with her. 'cos I sure can't. You're the one whose suppose ta know all about women. I figured if she took my bet, I'd at least have a few days of peace and quiet without her tryin' ta crawl up my backside.

Scott didn't know anything about the bet. But he did see Teresa shadowin' me around like a blood-sucking leech clingin' ta the back of ya neck that ya can't pull off unless ya douse it in alcohol, so I figured it would work with her, dousin' her with alcohol. Hell's bells, I added peppers ta spice it up for me. Didn't ya, Scott, see what she was up ta around me?" Johnny turned to his brother lifting his eyes with a silent plea to jump in anytime would be okay by him.

Scott shifted his weight, "Its true sir. I noticed that Teresa was behaving peculiar around Johnny. Oh and I did see her holding one of Johnny's work sweat-stained shirts that he left in the bathhouse for the laundry. She was skipping and twirling around with it, like she heard music playing inside her head. She was dancing a waltz around the yard with Johnny's shirt. Smelling it, I guess for Johnny's scent but she stopped the second she saw me and ran into the house."

Johnny relaxed, knowing that any second now, Murdoch's wrath would shift to another source. He confidently winked at Scott, grinning as he quietly counted, uno...dos...tres mouthing the count to Scott as they waited for the explosion to start ringing in their ears.

Murdoch did stop glowering at Johnny; he lifted his eyes towards the second floor, before bellowing loud enough to stir the dead or in this case the still recovering girl, "TERESA O'BRIEN! GET DOWN HERE! NOW! YOU GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO, YOUNG LADY!"

"Boys, make yourselves scarce, while I have a talk with my ward."

"Yessir", Scott solemnly replied.

"Sure thing Murdoch," Johnny said, trying not to smile.

Johnny and Scott grabbed their hats and gun belts from the rack, and oh so softly closed the front door behind them.

"Oh boy, looks like someone's in trouble and it ain't me," grinned Johnny as he leaned his head against the door, singing a little ditty as they both heard the bellow of their father at Teresa who's brawling, sounded very similar to a heifer's bawling. He almost felt sorry for Teresa, almost but recalled that Murdoch was a great believer in consequences for one's actions.

"If you're going through hell  
Kept on going, don't slow down  
If you're scared don't show it  
You might get out  
Before the devil even knows you're there." 

"Scott, I reckon Teresa slowed down, thanks ta the mezcal, 'cos it sure sounds like the devil knows she's there! She should start prayin' ta her guardian angel ta lend her a helpin' hand, 'cos Murdoch just gave her those jobs of cleanin' up her own stinkin' mess! Serves her right!"

"Come on Johnny, or it will be the devil to pay if he opens this door and finds us standing here eavesdropping. You just narrowly escaped by the skin off your teeth with this episode."

"Who me? Boston, ya know it wasn't my fault!"

Scott shook his head at him, "Johnny, remind me not to bet you ever again. Somehow you always manage to come out on top, smelling like roses, unlike Teresa has."

Johnny smirked, "Come on, let's get out of here! I'll race ya ta town, loser buys the first round!" He had already vaulted onto Barranca's back, wheeled him around and was kicking up dust as he rode towards town with Scott following in fast pursuit.

~Fin~

Sun Dancer

NOTE: The Lancers best remember that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."


End file.
